This is Why I am Crazy

Last week, I decided to open Etsy shop that was ART based. Somehow between last week and today I have managed to begin opening not one but TWO ETSY shops. I just got carried away! I have so many different passions and apparently I have a lot more free time than I thought… I still have a ways to go before my ART shop is together, but I have managed to set up my VintagelaceBoutique. I only have ten listings right now, but I would love if you guys went and checked it out! I plan on adding some more inventory as soon as I finish getting my art shop up and running. When I started this journey in January, I would have never thought I would be here today with an Etsy shop, let alone TWO Etsy shops! I can’t believe how much I have already grown as a person. I have more confidence in myself now than I have had my whole life. I have you guys to thank for this. So thank you. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize the things I am capable of. My life has changed so much already. I am filling a void by following my dreams and it is an amazing feeling.

image

Excited!!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!! Things have been really great lately! I am really looking forward to the weekend! I have big plans! I fully intend on writing my newest blog about my newest hobby! I have found an amazing thing that I simply LOVE doing. I can’t wait to share it with all of you! Also I plan on painting this weekend! I can’t wait and I can’t wait to share my newest piece of art with everyone. Hopefully it turns out so I can share it LOL. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my artwork so if it is not perfect I will toss it! Why can’t I be a perfectionist about the housework? Or the laundry? Man I seriously hate the laundry. I hate the dishes too…I think I just hate anything housework related. ANYWAY, I am so excited to write this weekend!!

“I AM ON THE HUNT FOR WHO I’VE YET TO BECOME”

 

The Cheesecake Dilemna

SELF-REFLECTION

DAY 23

I have been working very hard over the past few weeks at trying to lose weight and get myself back into some kind of  shape worth being proud of. Having been pregnant four times, let me be the first to tell you, my body is certainly not what it used to be. Not at all. Not in any way, shape or form….It’s ok though, I am learning to embrace the sagging. No that’s a complete lie. I am not embracing any of the sagging. Screw the sagging.

I am very happy to announce that I mastered the hula hoop exercise on the Wii Fit. LOL I know I know, my life goals are awesome. Anyway last week I moved on to Zumba on the Wii Fit. Let’s talk about Zumba for a moment. Holy so hard I can’t feel my legs for days. It hurts, so it must be working. Go Zumba.

I have come so far since January. I have lost weight. I eat better. My heart is healthier, and I know this because I can actually do Zumba without fainting. Anyway, because I have accomplished so much, yesterday I wanted to treat myself. What better way to treat yourself for losing weight than a slice of cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory? Vanilla Bean to be exact. Seriously the best idea ever, I know. I put my plan in motion. My mistake? Sending my husband.

I sent my husband on one simple mission, to go purchase me one slice of delicious Vanilla Bean cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. What does he do? He purchases me an ENTIRE CHEESECAKE!! WHAT THE WORLD!! Hello!! Doesn’t he know the amount of effort it has taken for me to come this far? UGH. I have has this cheesecake not even 24 hours. I had a slice for dessert last night. I had a slice for a late night snack…last night. AND I had a slice for breakfast this morning. They were huge slices…OK OK they weren’t slices at all. I actually just went to town on it with a fork. The stupid thing is now half-eaten. Yes, I ate half of an entire cheesecake in three sittings. I may be in need of some sort of therapy. The sad part is, the cheesecake is still here. It is in my refrigerator as I am typing this. And it is calling my name. I seriously need to throw the stupid thing away. I can’t bring myself to do it. It cost way more than any cheesecake on this planet should EVER cost, and it is the most delicious thing I have eaten in 3 months. I blame my husband.

I hate you Vanilla Bean Cheesecake. Nope, that’s another lie. I love you Vanilla Bean Cheesecake. I love you so much. Damn youuuuuuu.

I’m Back and I Need Your Help!

Hello my friends! I am finally back and I have so much to share with all of you! It feels like I was gone for months! Let me tell you, it was extremely difficult to not blog while I was in Maryland! I was going through a bit of withdrawal! We had a great visit with Josie, but it really flew by. Time with her always goes so fast, and time without her always goes so slow. We will talk later but right now I need some help!

I finally got a computer! That’s right, no more blogging from an Ipad. (thank goodness) I can’t wait to get back to blogging regularly, and on a laptop at that! Now I have to get my site set up and I literally have no idea where to start. I really would like to get my page looking a little better for everyone. I feel like right now it is hard to navigate. Does anyone have any feedback they could give me on the look of my page right now? I need to make some changes, and I would love your input! After all, you my good people are the ones who read my ramblings! Any layout ideas? Anything I need that I don’t have? I don’t have any “plug-ins.” Do any of you use “plug-ins?” Which ones do you like? Do any of you use “grammarly?” I know what you are thinking! I am clueless! Please help!

Do True Friends Even Exist Anymore?

SELF-REFLECTION

DAY 18

image

I envy my mother. She is beautiful and successful. She has an amazing career that she loves.  Those things are great, but do you want to know what I envy the most? My mother is still friends with the same group of women she surrounded herself with in high school. They are the best of friends. My mom knows the meaning of “life long friends,” and that is a true gift. I often wonder what her secret is. How do you form those special bonds? Why is it so hard for me? What am I doing wrong? I really don’t want to sound pathetic here, but I want a genuine friend more than anything. One thing I am starting to realize as I reflect on my own life is, I NEED a friend. image

I am starting to see things a lot clearer than I ever have. For so long I have used all the wrong reasons as excuses for why I have little to no friends. Here is the deal : I am a great friend. Maybe one of the issues I am having is, I want whoever I am friends with to be a great friend to me in return. Is this asking too much? Am I expecting too much? It seems like every time I let someone new into my life, it only leads to disappointment. I feel as though so many of my friendships have been one-sided. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have experienced “true” friendship, and even those relationships were lost.

image

I have lost so many friendships and I have been let down so many times, it has changed me as a person. I have built a wall around my heart in order to keep others out. I rarely ever allow myself the opportunity to meet new people. When I do meet someone new, I never let them in. I keep them close enough to talk to, but far away enough that I won’t get hurt. I know this is not healthy. I just don’t want to be let down anymore. I want friends and I need friends, but I am afraid.

I want to be a different person, a better person. I feel like we all need friends. We need those special people that we can count on. We need people to laugh with, cry with, and make memories with. I know in my heart that I would be a happier person if I had a real friend. As I continue down this path of self-discovery, I will not only be searching for myself, I will also be searching for a friend. A true friend. A best friend. I will also start trying to break down this wall that I have held up for so long. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Why we should start searching for ourselves now and not later

 

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

The Merriam-Webster definition of self discovery is as follows: “the act or process of gaining knowledge or understanding of your abilities, character and feeling.”

If you are anything like me, you probably ask yourself often: “Who am I beyond raising children, making meals, and cleaning the house?” Surely I am not the only mother who has had this thought? If you wonder who you are, where “you” went or where your life is going now is the time to begin your search and I’m going to tell you why.

THE EFFECTS OF SELF-DISCOVERY CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

I am confident that if we find the things we are passionate about as individuals and pursue them we will be much happier people in general. If we are happier women, we will in turn become better wives and better mothers. We need to be the best “me” we can. Essentially as mothers we are the glue that binds our family. Who we are is reflected onto our children. They watch us everyday, they grow everyday and they learn new things everyday.

I have four children ages 10, 5, 2 (almost 3) and 1. They are only getting older and so am I. I want to make sure that from here on out when they look at me they see a person who is happy, confident and content.

WE WANT OUR CHILDREN  TO LIVE THEIR LIVES TO THEIR FULL POTENTIAL

The other day my five year old said to me “mommy when I grow up I want to be a stay at home mom like you.” This struck a chord with me. Please understand, there is nothing wrong with US being stay at home moms. However, I have four daughters and I do not want that to be their life goal. We all want the best for our kids. We want to raise doctors, teachers, pilots, poets, artists, nurses and dentists. If our children have the opportunity to stay at home AFTER they establish themselves somewhat in life then that is great.

I’m not sure about you, but I don’t want my girls to look at me and think I am living the dream. I’m not. I don’t even know what my dreams are. To me, that is a problem. We should have dreams, and our children should watch us pursue them. They need to know there is more to “mom” than motherhood. We are setting an example, let’s make it awesome and unforgettable. Let’s teach them things they can carry into their own lives.

KNOWING WHO WE REALLY ARE WILL HELP US LEAD MORE FULFILLING, MEANINGFUL LIVES

Once we begin peeling back our layers, we can learn things about ourselves we never knew. We can establish new values, and they will reflect in our parenting and even our marriage. Once we have some idea of what we want from life and how to start getting it, we can meet new people with similar interests. We may even form lifelong friendships. We will have more fun because we will be more free. Free to be OURSELVES.

I often feel disconnected from myself because I don’t know who I am or what I want beyond the mommy character I portray on a daily basis. I want to find these things out now because I am not getting any younger. This life we live is a short one and before we know it our babies will have babies. Then what? Who are you without them? I want to improve myself now. I want to love myself so I can be the best wife and mother I can be. My family deserves the best me and I intend on giving it now and not later.